With March Madness just around the corner, plus all those blood-rageous political debates, threats of a global pandemic, St. Patrick’s Day, Megxit, Lent, Pete Davidson, and the Russians, we here at dogger think that you need to help Fluffy survive all this bonkers insanity. And how to do that?

Dog Meditation. That’s right, help Fluffy reduce stress, lower his blood pressure, and reach Nirvana with some nice guided dog meditation.

First, light a candle and make sure he sits in a comfy lotus position, eyes closed, and focusing on his dog breaths. Next run a tap to fill the room with the sounds of water, so that in his mind Fluffy will get carried away like a cherry blossom on a gentle sparkling stream. Then burn some incense and tell him to imagine golden liquid butter slowly filling him up from tail to snout. Once he starts his ascent to the highest pinnacle of bliss, help him float in a serene realm of everlasting tranquility by quietly humming any Cat Stevens song.

After that, give him cheese and Fluffy will be unencumbered by any dog cares, and enter a lotus plane of pure, flawless calm. None of the March Madness will matter, he will be happy, and you will be happy. We promise!